180+ Top Addiction Jokes and Puns

Need a quick fix of laughter? You’re in the right place! This hilarious collection of addiction-jokes-and-puns covers everything from caffeine cravings to phone obsessions—with a healthy dose of wit.

Whether you’re a dad joke enthusiast or just looking for some pun-derful fun, these jokes are clean, clever, and totally binge-worthy. We’ve tailored laughs for every type of “habit” with humor that’s light-hearted yet relatable. So buckle up and prepare for a humorous high—no rehab required!

One-Liner Addiction Jokes

1. I tried to quit my coffee habit, but it said, “Espresso yourself!”
   
2. I’m addicted to brake fluid—but I can stop anytime.
   
3. Rehab is for quitters… and I’m totally okay with that!
   
4. I joined a support group for compulsive talkers—we haven’t shut up since.
   
5. Addicted to naps? Welcome to the sleep recovery center!
   
6. My phone battery dies faster than my motivation to stop scrolling.
   
7. I once had a gambling problem… but I bet I’ve kicked it.
   
8. Addicted to puns? You’re in pun-ishment now.
   
9. Candy crush ruined my life… and my dentist’s day.
   
10. Tried quitting sugar, but I couldn’t make dessert.
    
11. Addicted to memes—they’re my drug of choice.
    
12. I keep joining fitness apps… I think I’m addicted to not using them.
    
13. Addiction runs in my family—right after coffee.
    
14. I tried quitting social media, but FOMO got me again.
    
15. I went to an AA meeting… Apple Anonymous. iPhone users only.

Addiction Puns

1. I’m hooked on phonics and not ashamed!
   
2. My gambling addiction? It’s a sure bet.
   
3. I detoxed from coffee… Now I’m depresso.
   
4. I got addicted to elevators—it was an uplifting experience.
   
5. Drug jokes are addictive… I crack myself up.
   
6. Rehab is a hard pill to swallow.
   
7. My nicotine patch addiction? Now that’s a sticky situation.
   
8. I’m addicted to bakery goods—I need help!
   
9. My junk food addiction? It’s a nacho problem!
   
10. I was addicted to auctions… going once, going twice!
    
11. I tried quitting cold turkey… Now I’m just addicted to hot gravy.
    
12. I checked into a pun rehab—too pun-ishing.
    
13. My snack addiction has me chipwrecked.
    
14. Addiction to fortune cookies? You just can’t quit your future!
    
15. I’m addicted to writing addiction-jokes-and-puns—no cure in sight.

Short Jokes on Addiction

1. Why did the addict cross the road? He thought dopamine was on the other side.
   
2. My pet’s addicted to squeaky toys—send help!
   
3. Why did the phone addict crash? Notifications withdrawal!
   
4. I broke up with caffeine—it was a bitter ending.
   
5. I’m addicted to procrastination… I’ll quit tomorrow.
   
6. Rehab center just opened a drive-thru. Now that’s recovery on the go!
   
7. Tried giving up my addiction to grammar, but it’s a capital offense.
   
8. Addicted to social media? You might need a “like-support” group.
   
9. My playlist is so addictive—it’s got all the hits.
   
10. I’ve got an addiction to elevators. They let me down and lift me up.
    
11. I’m hooked on lollipops—suckers for sweets!
    
12. Gambling? I rolled the dice on rehab.
    
13. My addiction was so bad, even my imaginary friend left.
    
14. Clean for 30 days… Well, my room isn’t.
    
15. Addiction-jokes-and-puns are my therapy!

Read Also: Funniest Basketball Jokes & Puns You’ll Ever Read

Top Jokes About Addiction

1. My rehab roommate got addicted to yoga—now he’s stretching the truth!
   
2. Why did the addict bring a ladder? To get high naturally.
   
3. They say laughter is addictive—guess I’m overdosing!
   
4. I tried detoxing from puns—it was punbearable.
   
5. My Netflix addiction just renewed for another season.
   
6. Why did the caffeine addict fail chemistry? Too jittery to concentrate.
   
7. I’m addicted to horoscopes—it’s written in the stars!
   
8. Addicted to cat videos—I’m feline terrible!
   
9. Tried quitting chips… but they always crunch back.
   
10. Gambling addiction? That’s how I lost my remote—and dignity.
    
11. My workout addiction left me sore-ry!
    
12. My dictionary addiction? Word.
    
13. I’m in a complicated relationship—with sugar.
    
14. Phone addiction hotline? Please hold.
    
15. When rehab opened a buffet, addiction-jokes-and-puns were served.

Gambling Addiction Jokes

1. I bet I could stop anytime… double or nothing!
   
2. My lucky number is rehab.
   
3. Tried quitting poker, but I kept folding.
   
4. I went to a casino for help… lost all my support!
   
5. My wallet went to therapy after my last gamble.
   
6. Scratch cards are my toxic ex—I just keep going back.
   
7. I lost my house, but at least I won the argument.
   
8. Rehab feels like a roulette wheel—round and round I go.
   
9. Addicted to slots? That’s a reel problem.
   
10. I bet you’ll laugh at these addiction-jokes-and-puns.
    
11. Blackjack ruined my life—and taught me to count.
    
12. My gambling counselor quit after I bet he wouldn’t.
    
13. I asked for change at the casino… They gave me a support group.
    
14. My odds of quitting? 50/50… on a good day.
    
15. I finally quit gambling—after betting I couldn’t.

Phone Addiction Jokes

1. I put my phone down… for 12 seconds!
   
2. My screen time is more committed than my ex.
   
3. I’m in a toxic relationship—with my notifications.
   
4. Siri’s my therapist now.
   
5. Tried quitting my phone… but I ghosted rehab.
   
6. I can’t sleep without saying goodnight to my apps.
   
7. Phone addicts anonymous meets… on Zoom.
   
8. I scroll like it’s cardio.
   
9. Addicted to swiping? Welcome to thumb rehab.
   
10. My phone’s Face ID knows me better than my mom.
    
11. Forgot my charger and had a panic attack.
    
12. They said “disconnect”—so I unfriended them.
    
13. My screen is cracked… like my sanity.
    
14. I sent 100 texts today—zero regrets.
    
15. These addiction-jokes-and-puns were written entirely on my phone!

Coffee-addiction-jokes

1. I told my coffee I needed space—it gave me room for cream.
   
2. My love language is espresso.
   
3. Coffee isn’t a drink; it’s a hug in a mug.
   
4. Addicted? I call it committed!
   
5. Decaf? Blasphemy!
   
6. I tried quitting once—woke up in jail.
   
7. I put the “latte” in reverse.
   
8. Rehab serves coffee? Count me in!
   
9. I drink coffee for your protection.
   
10. I get mugged every morning—by caffeine.
    
11. My coffee addiction is grounds for concern.
    
12. Life without coffee is depresso.
    
13. Espresso yourself before you wreck yourself.
    
14. Caffeine and sarcasm—my coping tools.
    
15. Pouring addiction-jokes-and-puns straight into my mug!

Caffeine Addiction Jokes

1. I replaced water with coffee—call it a brew cleanse.
   
2. My heartbeat sounds like a drum solo.
   
3. Doctors say I have Java jitters.
   
4. Caffeine: Because adulting is hard.
   
5. I gave up sleep for bean juice.
   
6. I’m in a stable relationship—with my barista.
   
7. Rehab tried to serve tea—I fled.
   
8. If caffeine’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.
   
9. I have a PhD in PSL (Pumpkin Spice Lattes).
   
10. I sweat cold brew.
    
11. Every sip is a step away from sanity.
    
12. I call my espresso shots “mood boosters.”
    
13. The only shots I take are espresso.
    
14. I ran out of coffee once… never again.
    
15. Even my jokes are brewed with addiction-jokes-and-puns.

Funny Addiction Stories

1. I joined a juice cleanse and got addicted to carrots.
   
2. My dog’s addicted to belly rubs—we’re considering puppy rehab.
   
3. I once binge-watched a meditation app.
   
4. Got addicted to cleaning—now my mess is emotional.
   
5. I became addicted to organizing… my chaos.
   
6. My grandma’s addicted to TikTok—send help!
   
7. I entered a rehab facility… for Amazon shopping.
   
8. I got addicted to checking the fridge—nothing changed.
   
9. I was once addicted to cereal. Snap, crackle, rehab.
   
10. My therapist’s addicted to diagnosing me.
    
11. My addiction to cold showers? It’s a chill problem.
    
12. I texted my ex after three cups of coffee—caffeine made me do it!
    
13. I replaced my sugar addiction with sarcasm.
    
14. I joined an addiction-jokes-and-puns writers’ group—we meet daily.
    
15. Got addicted to budgeting. Who even am I now?

Dad Addiction Jokes

1. I used to be addicted to hokey pokey… but I turned myself around.
   
2. My dad’s addicted to grilling—he has steak in every meal.
   
3. I’m not addicted to dad jokes… I can pun whenever I want!
   
4. I joined Punaholics Anonymous—my dad was already the president.
   
5. I got addicted to calendars… my days are numbered.
   
6. Dad tried quitting coffee once… we all suffered.
   
7. I told my dad he had a phone addiction. He said, “I’ll Google how to fix it.”
   
8. Addicted to fishing? Hook, line, and rehab!
   
9. My dad’s addicted to duct tape—nothing’s unfixable.
   
10. I told my dad to stop with addiction-jokes-and-puns—he said, “Can’t. I’m stuck on them.”
    
11. I tried quitting dad jokes… but my kids pulled me back in.
    
12. Dad’s addicted to weather apps—he checks the forecast before feelings.
    
13. I said, “You’re addicted to tools!” He replied, “I saw that coming.”
    
14. I told my dad he’s addicted to recycling puns. He said, “They’re re-pun-able.”
    
15. His idea of a support group is a BBQ party.

Funny Drug Puns

1. I got high… on life. Side effects: annoying optimism.
   
2. Drug puns? I crack myself up.
   
3. My weed joke? It’s a joint effort.
   
4. I asked the pharmacist for a pun. He said, “Take two and text me in the morning.”
   
5. I dropped my pills and lost my train of thot.
   
6. Coke and Pepsi? That’s my real addiction war.
   
7. These jokes are dope—but legally.
   
8. I got addicted to nasal spray… no sniffing back now!
   
9. Rehab prescribed laughter—side effect: addiction-jokes-and-puns!
   
10. I told my doctor I was addicted to ibuprofen—he said, “That’s a hard pill to swallow.”
    
11. My pharmacy ran out of humor—I had to go cold turkey.
    
12. I met a drug pun addict… his jokes were prescription only.
    
13. Opioid puns? I try to keep it painfully funny.
    
14. My jokes are 100% drug-free… but slightly sedated.
    
15. These puns are so strong, they need a warning label.

Pharmacy Drug Puns

1. I told the pharmacist, “I need something for my pun addiction.” He handed me Advil-line.
   
2. Tylenol was my gateway drug… to more puns.
   
3. I work out… my refill dates.
   
4. I can’t quit my pharmacy jokes—they’re just what the doctor ordered.
   
5. The pharmacy called—they’re out of punchlines.
   
6. I asked for a chill pill—they offered a dad joke instead.
   
7. I needed a prescription… for better puns.
   
8. The pharmacist said, “These puns are over the counter and over the top.”
   
9. I have a vitamin D deficiency… in delivery!
   
10. Pharmacy puns? They’ve got good med-i-cine!
    
11. My jokes were recalled by the FDA—for being dangerously funny.
    
12. The capsule said, “Swallow me for side-splitting laughter.”
    
13. Prescription strength humor: addiction-jokes-and-puns!
    
14. The pill bottle said “Take with sarcasm.”
    
15. My refill came with a punchline warning.

Anti-Drug Puns

1. Just say no… to bad puns (but not these).
   
2. My anti-drug is coffee… and sarcasm.
   
3. High on life? Side effect: puns.
   
4. Drugs? Nah, I’m already addicted… to wordplay.
   
5. Puns are my escape… no needles required.
   
6. I’m not addicted—I just have withdrawn from laughter!
   
7. Crack is wack, but these jokes slap!
   
8. Weed out the bad puns and keep the dank ones.
   
9. Stay off drugs—get hooked on addiction-jokes-and-puns!
   
10. Just say “pun” to peer pressure!
    
11. Don’t do drugs, do puns—it’s pun-derful!
    
12. Avoid drugs. Embrace humor. Get high on punchlines.
    
13. The only trip I’m taking is to the pun store.
    
14. Laughter is the only addiction I endorse.
    
15. My anti-drug campaign? Jokes that don’t need rehab.

Dog Drug Puns

1. My dog sniffed too many bones—now he’s in treat-hab.
   
2. I told my vet my dog’s hooked on squeaky toys—he said it’s a ruff case.
   
3. Paw-scription filled—laughter guaranteed.
   
4. My pup OD’d… on belly rubs!
   
5. These paws-itively addictive puns are vet approved.
   
6. My dog got caught with a bag of catnip—he’s doing time in doggy rehab.
   
7. His dealer? The mailman with treats.
   
8. My Chihuahua takes bark-otics for anxiety.
   
9. He chased his tail—got dizzy on happiness.
   
10. My labrador took too many woofins.
    
11. Rehab didn’t work—he begged his way out.
    
12. I warned my pup about pug-narcotics.
    
13. He’s not addicted… he’s fetch-dependent!
    
14. Treats are his drug of choice—dealer’s name? Grandma.
15. This kennel’s full of addiction-jokes-and-puns!

FAQ’s

Q1: What are addiction-jokes- and-puns?

Addiction-jokes-and-puns are humorous takes on addiction-related topics, blending wordplay with light-hearted humor.

Q2: Are these jokes safe to share with friends?

Yes, they are designed to be funny yet sensitive, perfect for casual or social use.

Q3: Can I use addiction puns in speeches or comedy skits?

Absolutely, they add a witty and relatable twist to any performance.

Q4: Are there different types of addiction jokes?

Yes, from caffeine and phone addiction to dad jokes and drug puns, the variety is vast.

Q5: Do these jokes make light of serious issues?

No, they aim to entertain without disrespecting real-life struggles.

Conclusion

Whether you’re hooked on caffeine, can’t stop scrolling, or just addicted to a good pun, these addiction-jokes-and-puns deliver the perfect dose of humor. Laughter might not cure addiction, but it sure helps lighten the mood.

From dad jokes to dog drug puns, we’ve covered it all—no prescription needed! Share these with friends, post them online, or keep them handy for your next comedy hit. Because in the end, a smile is the best kind of rehab.